Resolutions and responsibility

Happy New Year everyone. Yes I know it's already the second week of January and I am finally getting around to writing, but between traveling and getting back into the swing of things at work, time has not been on my side.

Ok, I made it through the holidays, visiting with my family, and all the fattening food and I ended up gaining about 7 pounds, which puts me back to where I was when I first started this blog (talk about coming full circle). Since this is a new year, I think it's fitting that I'm starting over again, don't you agree?

Now, I'm sure some of you out there make New Year's resolutions, maybe about quitting smoking, losing weight, exercising more, etc, but how many of us keep those resolutions? I can tell you that I have never kept a resolution for more than a week, which is why I stopped making them a few years ago. I began to realize that my good intentions just did not hold out and the pressure of trying to keep a promise to yourself was just too much for me, so I folded. This year is a little different. I returned to Sarasota on January 2nd feeling the same way I always feel when I return from a trip, a little sad that it is over and a little relieved to be back in my regular routine. This time was different. On Sunday, when I got out of the shower, I took a good look at myself in the mirror and realized that this was another new year and I am still the same person. Every year I say to myself, this year will be different. I will lose the weight and I will be healthy and happy and every January 1st I am still in the same place, still weighing the same as I did the year before and not much closer to being healthy. This time, when I looked in the mirror, I got angry at myself. You may think I'm a little crazy (although those of you who know me well will not think this is strange), but I gave myself a stern talking to. Basically, I decided I'm tired of making excuses and I'm tired of being lazy and I'm tired of not reaching my goals. There is no reason why I can't lose the weight. I don't have a medical problem that is keeping it on. I am physically capable of exercising and being more active. The only problem I have is my attitude. I have a self-defeatist attitude. I think I have always had a self-defeatist attitude and it has kept me from reaching goals that I could very easily achieve. Now that I have identified the problem, it's time to tackle it. One of the ways I am going to do this is by being honest and taking responsibility for my actions. When I got on the scale last week and saw the amount of weight I gained, I owned it. I knew I wasn't watching what I was eating while I was in Chicago. I didn't exercise and I didn't follow my plan. That will change now. No more excuses and no more games. I want to look in the mirror next January and say "great job!" You accomplished your goals. You are not the same person you were last year, you've dropped weight, you're healthier, and, most importantly, you're happier.

So, I guess my resolution is to get rid of the self-defeatist attitude. It's not going to be easy, this has been my basic attitude since I was about 12 years old, so it will be a challenge to change a behavior that has been around for so long but I'm ready to try. I did get on the scale yesterday and I lost 3.6 pounds, so I'm off to a good start.

Thank you to everyone who continues to read and comment. I hope I will continue to inspire some of you to meet some of your own goals in 2010. I have a feeling this will be a good year!