Blurred vision

I've been thinking a lot lately about something one of my professors said in my intro to counseling class, if you want to change something in your life, you must first visualize what that change will be like for you.  It is that visual image that will help motivate you to reach your goals.  Why have I been thinking about this, because I think my vision is blurred.

I've been off the wagon lately as far as my food intake and exercise plans are concerned.  Somehow, I've lost the vision behind losing weight and, with that, I've also lost my motivation.  Now I know there are things I can do to help me visualize what it will be like when I'm at my goal weight.  I can cut out pictures of healthy, thin bodies and glue my head to them (I know some people who have done this), but that has never really appealed to me.  Instead, I pulled out some old photos of me from when I was at my heaviest and thought about the person I was then compared to who I am now.  In spite of the backwards steps I have experienced recently, I really feel like I've come along way.  When I looked at the photos, I saw someone who was trying to hide behind big clothes, long hair, and a big body.  Back then, I was shy and lacked the confidence and strength I have now.  I feel I was just existing during that phase in my life and not taking the active role in my life that I am now.  I weigh 22 pounds less than I did 10 years ago and, although it may not seem like much, for me it has meant a huge change.

So I have my visualization.  If I feel empowered right now with the small weight loss, imagine how empowered I will feel once I reach my goal.  My ego may become too big to be held in any room! (Just kidding).  My vision is clearing, I know where I want to go, I know what I want to look like, and I know what I need to do and I plan to do it!

Last week I talked about decisions I needed to make regarding my job.  I have decided to stay at my current job.  I was offered an extension through the end of the year.  Hopefully, during that time, the company will either get the contract with the Army, or another opportunity to move into a supervisory position will open up.  Either way, I have a good feeling about staying.  I feel this is where I need to be right now.  Thank you to everyone who either left a comment for me here or on my facebook page.  Your thoughts and encouragement are very helpful, especially when I'm not feel that sure about myself.

I gained 0.8 pounds this week, but this will be the end of the weight gain.  The leader of my Weight Watchers meeting said something that made me think about my own weight loss.  She shared that she was a slow loser, losing about 0.4 pounds a week and, if she went on a binge, she would gain 2 pounds in 1 week, undoing 5 weeks of work.  She said that she would think about that whenever she had the urge to splurge and, instead of eating the whole cake or overindulging in alcohol, would have one slice or one drink.  Something for me to think about since it will take 3-4 weeks for me to lose what I have gained.  So I will visualize what that looks like for me and I will enjoy my life, in moderation.

Visualize your dreams and make them a reality.  :)