Slow and Steady...

Yes, I am back.  I have realized I am not the best blogger in the world.  Ok, maybe that was a bit harsh, I'm not the most consistent blogger in the world.  I have to admit, writers block is a bitch!  My problem is that I have a lot of ideas floating around in my head, but I have a really hard time putting them down on paper.

This idea is something that's been floating around in my head for the past 2 weeks and I think is finally ready to be pinned down.  As you know, I've gone back to Weight Watchers and rejoined the Y near my house, and I have been losing weight.  The problem I've run into is, my weight loss is not very high.  I understand that this is a lifestyle change and I am trying to change years of bad choices, but I have to admit I've been a little frustrated with how slowly the weight is coming off.  I know the saying, slow and steady wins the race, and I know that Weight Watchers is about taking the weight off slowly so it will stay off, but I also know that I do not have a lot of patience and have a tendency to want things to happen faster than they are supposed to.  So I think that is my biggest challenge.

So, this week, when I got on the scale at the WW meeting and saw that I had only lost a pound I was a little upset.  Here I thought, "I had a great week.  I went easy on the alcohol and stayed away from temptation (for the most part).  I exercised and pushed myself, so I should lose 2-3 pounds."  What a letdown.  Sue, the WW consultant who weighed me in did remind me that a loss is a loss and this a slow and steady process.  So this got me to thinking about the movie The Shawshank Redemption.

If you've never seen this movie, please take the time to do so it is really good!  That being said, if you haven't seen this movie and you plan to, this is a SPOILER ALERT.  Please stop reading or I will spoil the end of the movie for you.  Ok, now that I have that out of the way, the reason I started thinking about the Shawshank Redemption is because, in the movie, Andy DuFrane uses small stone carving instruments to tunnel his way out of Shawshank Prison.  Now, mind you, this was not an overnight thing, this was a long process.  Andy was in prison for several years before he finally tunneled his way to freedom.  Every night, after lights out, he would move a large poster he had on his wall, use the smaller carving instrument, and work on his tunnel.  As thoughts of this movie entered my mind, I began to see myself as Andy, slowly chipping away at my own prison until the time comes and I am free.

So that is what I am doing.  I am making healthy choices and chipping away at my weight 1 pound at a time and soon I will be free.

What do you feel passionate about?

About a week ago I was sitting in a weight watchers meeting when the leader asked, what do you feel passionate about?  The theme of that meeting was how to keep motivated to reach your goal.  The question really got me thinking, what do I feel passionate about?

Well, it took some time for me to mull it over but here is a list of some things I feel passionate about:

Family - I love my family dearly and would do anything I could for them.  My family is my rock and they provide a lot of support for me.  I don't live close to my family, my parents and two brothers are in the Chicago area and my sister and brother-in-law live in Massachusetts, so I don't get to see them very often, but when I do, I savor every minute.

Friends - I have a few close friends whom are like my family.  My friends brighten my day.  They provide laughter, tears, love, and support when I need it.  I have a few friends in particular who always seem to know exactly what I need to hear, even though I really don't want to hear it.

 Career - Notice I didn't say "work", although I do like my job, I am very passionate about my career.  As you know, I'm a counselor (well, to be technical, I'm a Licensed Mental Health Counselor) and my passion is to help others.  I have two goals when it comes to career, to have my own practice and to obtain my Ph.D.  Right now, I am contracting with a substance abuse treatment program in St. Pete, which I love because I actually get to do face to face counseling.  My hope is to be able to make other contacts and possibly grow this experience into a practice of my own.  As far as the Ph.D part goes, I plan to apply to a program this fall and hopefully start in 2013, which, truthfully, scares the crap out of me, but the biggest plunges are the scariest.

Health - I decided not to list weight loss here because, actually, losing the weight is a small part of being healthy.  I want to be more active and I don't want to worry about having to deal with knee problems, back problems, heart problems, I think you get the picture.  So, to me, eating healthy, exercising, and losing weight is the key to being healthy.  I also want to travel and try new things and I don't want my excess weight to get in the way.

So, that is the list of my main passions and some plans for my future.  Writing down my passions and my goals solidifies my commitment to make them happen.  So, if you keep reading, I will keep you posted on my progress.  Also, Newton was right, what goes up does go down because I lost 2 pounds!

What are you passionate about?  Feel free to leave a comment and I will be happy to provide support!

What goes up...

Isaac Newton wrote his theory of gravity in the late 17th century, which basically stated, what goes up inevitably must come down.  I've been thinking a lot about this theory over the past week.  No, I am not planning to test the theory of gravity because I firmly believe it exists.  I was thinking about things going up and down after weighing in at my Weight Watchers meeting to discover I went up 1.4 pounds this week.

Now this may not seem like a lot, but I was sad and frustrated with myself when I got on the scale.  At first, I couldn't figure out what I did to cause the gain.  But when I looked back on what I ate and drank the week before, I could see what happened.  I guess that's the beauty of tracking what you eat, you can see where you screwed up.

Like everything in life, I know weight loss has it's ups and downs and it can be difficult to maintain momentum when facing a gain, even a small one.  What I discovered this week is it is not what is on the scale that is important, but the commitment to change.  Just like gravity pulls things back down to the ground, my weight will also go down if I stay committed to eating healthy and exercising.  I know I will have weak moments where I will overindulge, the key is to get right back on track and not allow myself to fall apart because I strayed off track.

This is true not just with weight loss, but with any goal that we set for ourselves.  There will be times when things go off track or don't work out the way we plan.  As long as we can pick ourselves up and get right back on track, we will eventually reach our goal.

So, if you've gone up and off course in your own journey, just remember Newton's theory and the idea that things will eventually fall back into place.  :-)

Just like starting over

Hello readers.  Yes, it's been a while.  I have to say, I've been suffering from writers block when it comes to the old blog.  But that has passed and I am back with more fun weight loss adventures.  :)

Actually, the blog isn't the only thing I've been neglecting.  I recently went back to Weight Watchers after not going to any meetings or tracking my food for over 3 months.  I have to say, I was a little hesitant about going back.  I was sure when I got on the scale I would be back to my original start weight and have to start all over again.  So I was very surprised when I got on the scale and had lost 1.4 pounds.  I was so shocked that I asked the woman if I could get off and get back on the scale to make sure it was correct.  I guess I did learn something from attending meetings and tracking food because I went for 3 months on my own and still lost some weight.  Now, mind you, I don't believe I can completely do this on my own.  I do feel that I have better success when I am paying attention to what I am eating and writing down my food and activity.  It was just nice to not have to start all over again.  It was also nice to attend a meeting and be welcomed back to Weight Watchers.  It didn't matter that I hadn't been to a meeting in over 3 months, what was important was that I was there and that I participated in the discussion.

I do still believe I can lose weight and get healthy.  It's a journey and, sometimes, I get sidetracked.  The important thing is to get back on the road.  So thank you for reading and I promise you won't have to wait another month for a new post. :)

Spring Awakenings

Ah Spring, flowers blooming, trees start to get their leaves, my allergies to pollen kick up, but I digress.

I've always viewed Spring as a time of awakening, renewal.  When things come back to life after being dormant all winter.  For myself, this is also a time for change.  This is the time when I go through my clothes, put away the winter sweaters (not that I wear all that many sweaters in Florida) and start to bring out the summery clothes.  Spring is also a good time to make changes to routines.

In my last post I wrote about how I was in a rut and what I was going to do about it.  Well, I did rejoin the YMCA and have started going to yoga and spin classes and, let me tell you, they have both kicked my butt!  The first spin class I took I thought, this won't be so bad.  I like riding my bike and how hard could it be to ride a stationary bike.  Well, let me tell you, it's pretty hard.  First off, the seat is not that comfortable.  My butt seriously began to hurt during the first 5 minutes of class.  Secondly, the intervals, going from fast to even faster, are pretty tough to keep up with.  Pair that up with standing and pedaling the bike for long periods of time and you get quite a workout.  I wasn't able to stay "up in the saddle" as it's called for the whole time, but I plan to continue with spin classes and, hopefully, I will get to the point where I can keep up with everyone else.

Yoga is very different from spin class.  I never really realized just how much of a workout your muscles get during yoga.  I always looked at it as stretching and breathing, focusing on meditation.  In actuality, you do some stretching and you also hold your body in different poses, working muscles that I haven't used in a long time.  The last class I took, the muscles in my arms burned so much I was beginning to wonder if I would be able to use them again.  Well I was and the pain did not last that long.  I am very surprised at the workout I get from yoga.  I am also surprised at how refreshed and relaxed I feel after class.  Here I am, holding my body in ways it's not use to, muscles burning and sweat pouring down my face and yet I feel centered.  I am focused on my breathing and all the noise in my head quiets for that hour.  It is a really great feeling and I have to say that I really enjoy the yoga classes I have attended.

So I plan to continue with yoga and spin class and I hope to try some of the other classes the Y has to offer.  I feel really good about my exercise routine, it's not as boring and stagnant as it was a month ago.  Next thing to work on changing is my eating habits, primarily my portion sizes, and we will talk about that in another blog.  If anyone out there has tried another type of exercise or exercise class that they would like to share with me, I'm open to suggestions.

Happy Spring!

Blah!

I have the winter blahs.  Yes, I know, I live in Florida and I'm sure many of you are wondering how I can have the winter blahs when I live in the Sunshine State, where the temperature rarely drops below 30 degrees.  Well I do.

I think part of my problem is that I'm stuck.  Stuck in a rut.  I'm stuck in a rut that is only going to get worse now that I am working from home because I will be spending a lot of time in my house.  Not at an office, interacting with others.  Not having a purpose to really care about what I'm wearing, how my hair looks, and whether or not I have make up on.  Now, I am not at this state yet, but if I don't do something to change the rut I soon will be.

A big part of my issue is that I've stopped taking care of myself.  A few years ago I use to work out 5 days a week.  I worked with a personal trainer, I did weights, cardio, classes, you name it.  Now, I barely get out and walk and it has been months since I stepped into a gym.  Also, I stopped going to Weight Watchers meetings.  I think I subconsciously decided to stop after the realization set in that I will be a member for one year this month and I still weigh pretty close to the same weight I did when I started.

What happened?  Where did my motivation go?  Is it really that much easier to sit on the couch and watch tv as it is to get on the treadmill or eliptial machine and watch tv?  There was a time when I use to watch a lot of tv while working out, and I felt good about it.  Now, not so much.

So, what to do about it...  I could continue to whine, but that is not going to do me any good.  This week I heard someone say, in order to snap someone out of a mood and get them to face the problem is to ask "What are you going to do about it?"  So I've asked myself that question, and you know what, it worked.  The little pity party I was having in my head stopped.  The ideas of blaming my current situation on someone else stopped.  I like to consider myself a bright woman, so I really know what to do and have no one to blame but myself.

So today I will rejoin the gym where I use to work out, the one I went to 5 days a week and took advantage of the classes, the indoor track, and all the things it had to offer.  Then I will start going.  I want to try a spin class and I want to swim.  I also want to work myself back into running.  I may possibly be one of the few people out there who is re-starting the Couch to 5K app for the third time, but it doesn't matter.  What matters is I know what I need to do to get out of the blahs.  I know what I need to do to feel good about myself and I'm going to start doing it, because if I don't take care and make myself feel good, no one will.

So here is a little taste of what it is like down here in Sarasota.  February and March are great times to come visit, if anyone is interested. 

This is a photo of Siesta Key Beach in Sarasota, even more beautiful in person.

Happy February everyone!  Avoid the winter blahs. :)

Word of the Year

One thing I am trying to do this year is open myself up to the blogging community.  As I read other people's blogs, I am noticing a connection to what I am going through.  i have also noticed that several of my fellow bloggers are participating in an exercise called Word for the Year.  This is a word that you choose (or maybe it chooses you) as an inspiration or for guidance.  Now I know it is the end of January, but it's still the beginning of the year, so I think I can get this in under the wire.  I have decided to pick a word for this year and that word is:

Believe

-verb 1. to accept as true or as speaking the truth

2. to think; suppose

3. to accept the truth of something

A relatively simple word, but something that is so hard for me to do.  No that's not entirely true, I don't have any problems believing in other people.  What I have a hard time doing is believing in myself. 

In some ways, I think this word chose me.  On Christmas Eve, my sister gave me a pendant that she order from my friend, and fellow blogger, Leanne's Etsy store (chaostohappiness on Etsy, it's great and I suggest you check it out).  The pendant said believe:

It wasn't an early Christmas gift, my sister said she saw it and thought of me, so she bought it for me.  That was the beginning. 

The theme of the January 2nd Weight Watchers meeting was Believe and, after a rough weigh in, the consultant asked me what I believe.  At first I said, "I don't know" (I think I was reeling from the fact that I had gained 7 pounds in 2 weeks).  Then I haltingly answered, "I believe in me.  I believe I can lose weight."  Later it hit me.  I don't think I have ever really told myself that I believe I can lose weight.  I've never really had the belief in myself and my success. 

So this year I believe in me.  I believe I can lose weight.  I believe I will go back to school.  I believe my confidence will soar and I will get stronger.

I believe in me, what a powerful thing to say.

So, how about you?  It's not too late to pick a word four your year.  If you decide to do this, let me know.  I believe 2012 will be a great year for everyone!

Here is a better picture of the design that is on the pendant:

I know I already plugged Leanne's shop, but if you have a chance, do check it out.  She is a talented artist and really does some beautiful things!  www.etsy.com/shop/chaostohappiness :)