Inspiration and Transformation

Last week was challenging.  Stress, lack of motivation, and frustration at myself left me feeling like an emotional mess by the time Sunday night rolled around.  I was feeling pretty low and beginning to doubt that I was going to be able to reach any my goals.  So when the alarm clock went off at 8:30am on Monday, the last thing I wanted to do was get up and go to a Weight Watchers meeting.  I felt like I had been run over by a bulldozer and I just wanted to find a big rock to crawl under and hide from everything.

What did I do?  I got up, got dressed and went to the meeting, and I am so glad that I did.  This week, the focus was on inspiration and motivation.  The group leader asked use all to write down what it was that made us decide to join WW.  While we were writing, she shared her story about how she had been in poor health due to her weight, suffering from diabetes and high blood pressure, and she realized the only way she could get that under control was to lose weight.  Some of the other members shared their stories, some had health reasons, others were tired of the way they looked and the comments they received from friends and loved ones, most of the members who shared their stories had been WW members before.  I decided to share my story.  As those of you who have been following my blog before know, I've been battling my weight for quite some time and, although this is my first time joining WW, I have been on several other diets that have not worked for me.  I told the group that, when I walked through the WW door that February day, I was tired of the way I looked.  I was tired of looking at myself in the mirror every January and seeing the same fat person staring back at me.  I also talked about how I celebrated a big birthday this year and decided that I was ready to take control of my eating and my relationship with food.

It felt really good to share and to realize that I am not alone on this journey.  After talking about what motivated us to join, we wrote down why we were there, at the meeting, week after week.  My answer was short, I am doing this for me.  As I looked at my answer, I began to think of the things I have started doing for myself and the ways I have started to put myself first, rather than hide behind others, and it felt good.  As the meeting was wrapping up, the group leader talked about Dr. Oz's Million Dollar Transformation Challenge.  The Dr. Oz show has partnered with WW to help motivate people to make healthy changes in their lives and, by making these transformation, you could win one million dollars.  My group leader told everyone that, if they wanted, they could pick up an application to join the challenge and encouraged everyone to watch the Dr. Oz show that afternoon.  As the meeting ended, I was sitting and talking to two women that I have become friends with and one of them looked at me and said, "You should do this.  You should sign up to win the million dollars."  Well I looked at her and laughed, not sure what to say, when the group leader came over to me and said the same thing.  I think I gave them a look that said, "Are you crazy", when the group leader said she thought I would be a perfect candidate to transform my life.  As my two friends shook their heads in agreement, I realized that there were three people who didn't know me that well, but firmly believed that I could transform my life.  Talk about a big jolt of inspiration!  If these people who I have only had contact with during WW meetings firmly believed I have what it takes to transform my life, why didn't I?  So I took an application and filled it out and I watched the Dr. Oz show and completed the online application.  Who knows, I may be one of the finalist on the show in May, I may just be the one who wins the million dollars.  Whether I win or not, I will transform myself, from the inside out, and I will continue with this journey.

Last week, I gained 1.6 pounds.  This week I lost half of it, 0.8.  I am happy for any loss because it is another step in the right direction.  Overall I have lost 15.4 pounds since I started this journey.

So, as I close this blog entry on inspiration, I want to share one more person who has also inspired me when it comes to writing and being creative.  I recently reconnected with my friend Leanne from college through Facebook.  Leanne has a blog call From Chaos Comes Happiness,  fromchaoscomeshappiness.blogspot.com, where she has written about the ups and downs in her creative and personal life and does it in such a way that, even when she is going through tough times, she still manages to be positive.  I have linked Leanne's blog and I encourage you to check it out.  I hope you will find it as inspiring as I have!

Who or what inspires you?  Leave me a message, I'd love to know. 

Now, go out and be inspired to reach your goals!

Fall

Since tomorrow is the first day of fall and we are coming up on the end of September, I have been thinking a lot about the fall. The temperatures begin to drop. There is a crisp feeling in the air where you don't quite need a coat outside, but you need a sweatshirt or sweater. The leaves begin to change and thoughts turn to Halloween and Thanksgiving. Overall, this is my favorite time of year. Or at least it was until I moved to Florida, the place where fall doesn't exist.

Ok, I know my friends who live in the north are probably going to tell me to stop whining because Florida is a great place to live in the winter. Which is true. The problem is that I've been dealing with hot and humid weather since the end of April and, by the time October gets here, I'm really tired of it. It should not be 90+ degrees with 100% humidity in October. Also, the leaves don't change color down here and by the time October comes, I'm tired of having my house closed up and running the air conditioner.

Yes, I am complaining. October has always been one of my favorite months. I can remember as a child, breaking out my favorite sweaters and planning my Halloween costume. As I got older, there were bonfires and sweatshirts and that invigorating feeling of the seasons changing.

I don't feel that now. Now I just feel the anticipation of when the heat will break. I've been living in Florida for 11 years and you'd think I'd be use to it by now. But I'm not. Every October I become nostalgic for crisp weather, changing leaves, hay rides, and cold Halloweens. Thank you all for letting me whine a bit and wax nostalgic for a bit.

What is your favorite season? Or any thoughts on Fall? Leave me a comment, I'd love to hear from you. Happy Fall!  

The Perfect Week...

What would the perfect week look like? That was the question that was posed during the Weight Watchers meeting last week. I know that they were talking about a perfect week ont he plan, but it started me thinking about what a perfect week in my life would look like.

Well I don't know about a perfect week, but a good week would go like this:

• I would get off work on time and go home without feeling like I was going to fall asleep (something that could happen when you work the overnight shift)


• I would get more than 4 hours of sleep during the day


• Disruptions would be down to a minimum (including cat disruptions)


• I would go to the gym 4 days that week


• I would honestly track everything and lose 5 pounds that week


• I would take time to do something I enjoy


• The man of my dreams would arrive at my house with beautiful flowers wanting to take me away to his private island (ok, so I've moved from good week to fantasy land) :)

Some of these items I can actually do. Sometimes I just get so caught up with the ins and outs of daily life that I don't take time to do things I enjoy. The problem is, I'm not exactly sure what I would like to do if I had time available. I feel a little stuck and this carried over into my week last week.

I did not have the perfect week like WW suggested. I did track, but I wasn't completely honest, which is funny because I am the only person I am fooling when i don't track all my food. I also was not motivated to exercise. For some reason I have had a hard time motivating myself to go to the gym last week and this week. I can't put my finger on it. I almost feel like I am burned out. Now, I did exercise 3 days last week (good but not great) and I used some of the suggestions that people left for me last week (thank you!) One thing that I discovered that I have to share is, the on demand feature on Verizon Fios has an exercise channel. Now, I'm sure I've seen this channel before when I've been zipping through the on demand feature looking for episodes of Pawn Stars or What Not To Wear, but I've never actually looked at the programs offered. Well, there is a lot of different exercise programs, some are 15 minutes, some 30 and there are some that are 1 hour. They have everything from yoga, to core exercises, to walking and areobic. So I tried one. I did a 2 mile walk program sponsored by the American Heart Association. This was a great workout. It got me moving and had me doing a lot more than just schlepping along on the tread mill. Once I got past the perky trainer, it was fun. I plan to try more programs this week to shake up my routine.

So, I gained 1 pound this week, but that's ok. This is a journey that is not going to be perfect, but I am learning a lot about myself, which is what counts. Thank you for all the encouragment and suggestions. They are much appreciated.

I hope you have a perfect week!

Motivation, motivation. Where for art thou motivation?

Exercise. Exercise is an important part of losing weight and getting healthy. I know this because the weeks that I get out and exercise at least 3 times, I lose weight. I also have more energy and feel really good when I go work out. Considering I've never been big on exercise, it feels like an accomplishment to get off my butt and go to the gym.

Why am I writing about this today, because I'm struggling with motivating myself to go work out. For some reason this week, my brain is coming up with 101 excuses to skip my workout and, today, I'm having a hard time finding the energy to override my brain.

I want to exercise. I know how I feel after I'm finished. I just have to fight the pull of the couch and re-runs of America's Next Top Model to go change and head to the gym. Last week I talked about how I started using the Couch to 5K app. to start running. I've made it to week 4 and I feel really good about that. I've been doing things differently where I'm doing each week twice. This has help me feel confident about moving to the next week, where there is more running involved and less walking. So last week I ran for 5 minutes for the first time and felt pretty good about it. The week 4 plan is: 5 minute warm up, run for 3 minutes, walk for 1 1/2 minutes, run for 5 minutes, walk for 3 minutes, run for 3 minutes, walk for 1 1/2 minutes, run for 5 minutes, 5 minute cool down. When I finish this cycle, I've gone about 2.3 miles (slowly working my way to that 5K, which is a little over 3 miles). The run part is not always easy. Sometimes the endorphins do not kick in as quickly as I would like and I find that my mind has to push my body through the full 5 minute run. It's like having a cheerleader in my head screaming "You can do this. You have 2 minutes left. There is no way you are going to stop now." Sounds a little crazy, but it really works because I have not stopped during the 5 minute runs.

As I'm writing this, the cheerleader is starting to yell "Get off your butt and get to the gym!" So I am going to end here, get off the couch, change, and go to the gym. I did weigh in yesterday and lost 2 pounds. So I am down a total of 16.2 pounds since I started Weight Watchers in February. A little slow moving, but not too shabby. We'll see what happens next week!

I can't, can I...

When we're kids, especially little kids, we are told "no" and "you can't" quite a bit from our parents. I understand parents do this in order to protect their children and set boundaries for them, and I am all for that. But when the work "can't" becomes predominant in some one's vocabulary, then there is a problem. I have been pondering this for the past week and have realized that I have taken the work "can't" to a whole new level. Somewhere along the way I have taken the safe boundaries that my parents set for me to a whole new level, and not in a good way.

Last week I wrote that I went to see my doctor for a check up. During the appointment, she recommended the book The 4 Hour Body by Tim Ferris to me. Well it just so happened that I had a gift card to a book store, so I decided to check the book out. In the book, the author talks about ways to "transform" your body using methods he and others have used. As I'm reading this book, some of the things make perfect sense and I could see them working for me. But then I read about the low carb diet plan, and the first thing I thought was "I can't do that." Now I have read Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes (which was recommended to me by a friend and is an excellent book) and I understand how carbohydrates work in the body and how they affect weight loss, so it was not the diet that struck me as strange, it was my reaction. I automatically shot down the idea of me trying the diet to see if it worked and I'm not sure why I did. So I started thinking of other things I've told myself I couldn't do. I once told myself I couldn't run because of my weight, that it would be too hard on my body, but then I decided to try the couch to 5K app for my phone (after reading some friends' posts about it on FB). Well, I can run. In fact, yesterday, I ran for 5 minutes straight without feeling like I was going to lose a lung. I also use to say "I can't cook" but I've recently started cooking more meals and have found that, not only do I enjoy it, but I'm actually not that bad at it.

So, why can't I try this diet? It's not an unhealthy diet, it just restricts the intake of certain carbs and it is set up where you can have one day off to eat what you want. Certainly something that I could probably handle. So why was I so quick to say "I can't"? Maybe what I was really saying "I can't" to is the idea of being successful at losing weight. Interesting thought (and one I will explore in a future blog).

I stayed the same this week, but I did decide to start tracking my measurements along with my weight loss so that I have more than just the scale to track my success. I lost 2 inches in my waist and 1/2 inch in my arms, and everything else stayed the same. Not too bad, but definitely time to shake things up.

That's all for this week. Tune in next week to read about what other strange and interesting things that travel through my mind (although I won't dig too deep because that could be kind of scary)... :)