Well, it is now December. I have no idea what happened to November. I can't believe a month went by and I have not updated my blog. It's not that I haven't had anything to say, it's just that my last posting was rather dark and that dark mood seemed to follow me through most of November that I didn't want my blog to become too depressing.
Oh, who am I kidding, I lost my motivation. I've lost my motivation about a lot of things and if finally reached a point where I needed to do something about it. So, one afternoon I took myself out for coffee and for a Come to Jesus meeting with myself. Strange? Yeah, it probably was. Necessary? Definately!
I assume everyone knows what a Come to Jesus meeting is. Usually it's something you have with someone else when they are not doing something you need them to do or when you are worried about them. Hence the Come to Jesus meeting with myself. What does a Come to Jesus meeting with yourself look like? Well it looks a little like this:
"Ok, you're unhappy. The weight isn't changing. Your motivation to exercise and follow the Weight Watchers plan has lagged. You are stubborn and continue to do the same thing over and over and over again and expect a different result. If I didn't know you so well, I would think you were insane."
"What do you mean I'm insane? I'm not doing the same thing over and over, oh wait, you're right. Maybe I am insane! Maybe I should have my brain checked. If I checked myself into the crisis unit, do you think they'd give me my own room?"
"Stop it! You are not insane. Lazy at times and lacking in motivation, but not insane. It is time to take this seriously. Do you like how you are now? If so, then don't do anything, but I kind of get the idea that you are not happy."
"You're right. I'm not happy and I know what to do about it. The problem is I'm feeling stuck and am having a hard time unsticking myself."
Please note that this conversation went on in my head and was written out on paper in my journal while I drank my coffee. I was not sitting in a coffee shop talking to myself. Had I done that, I may have ended up in the crisis unit and would have that wonderful experience to write about.
The truth is, I got to the point where I was tired of feeling down and stuck. I'm not stuck, I just needed to readjust my priorities. Thanksgiving was a great time for that. I had been wallowing in the fact that I was not where I wanted to be with my weight loss, that I lost sight of the things that I had accomplished. I'm a licensed mental health counselor who has a decent paying job that I like. I have an opportunity to branch out and start moving towards my own practice. I have friends and family who love and support me (even though, at times, I'm sure they think I'm nuts). The weight loss will happen in it's own time, but it won't happen if I allow myself to get bogged down with the woulda, shoulda, couldas. I have a lot to be proud of and thankful for, I just had to confront myself in order to see it.
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I will have a full weight report next week (I've skipped Weight Watchers that past 2 weeks). Thank you, as always for your support. It truly helps and means the world to me. :)
