Master and Servant

Ok, the title is obscure, unless you are a fan of Depeche Mode and know that the song is in reference to Sado-Masochism. No, this blog entry is not going to be a look into my kinky sex life (which I don't have), it is a focus on the fact that I recently realize that I am a Masochist.

For those of you who don't know (and I'm sure most of you do) a masochist is someone who like to inflict or have pain inflicted on themselves. Masochism is inevitably linked to sex, but can also come out in so many other ways. So, why do I think I'm a masochist, well I've recently begun working with a personal trainer, I think you know where I'm going with this.

My trainer is a very nice, 22 year old guy who I am going to call Joe, in reference to G.I. Joe because he has the physique to be a well trained solider. Joe decided we would start working on my legs, so he had me sit on a bench and stand up without using my arms to push me up. So I went from a sitting to a standing position for 3 sets of 15. Sounds easy right? Wrong! Halfway through the first set, my legs started to burn and I could feel clenching in my stomach. Joe told me this was a good thing because not only were we working my legs, but my core as well, I guess that is what trainers now call the stomach. When I finished the 3 sets, my legs felt a little spongy and we move on to the next exercise. Now if I thought sitting and standing was hard, I was in for a surprise. For the next leg exercise, Joe put me on a weight machine that focused on my quads and calves. I sat in the machine and my legs went behind this pad, which I would lift by straighting my legs 15 times. When I finished on the machine, Joe had me go on a bike with the resistance set at 13 and I was to pedal as fast as I could for 30 seconds. I had to do 3 sets of this exercise and by the time I was finished, I didn't think I would be able to stand. The final exercise worked the inner and outer thigh muscles and was done on 2 machines that left me in uncomfortable positions. For the outer thigh machine, there were two arms with pads that rested on the outside of my knees and I had to push my legs open. On the inner thigh machine, I started with legs wide open and had to push them closed. Not the most lady-like position, but it did the trick because by the time I finished, my thighs were burning. Needless to say, I'm not exactly sure how I was able to walk out of the gym after the session. Not only that, but my legs were very sore for the next few days. It is never fun when you have to use the tub and the sink to balance yourself as you try to sit on the toilet.

So, now you can see why I'm beginning to feel like a masochist. And I will be meeting with Joe again next week so he can make my arms and upper body feel like jelly. Why am I doing this? I hope to be able to tone up and, as the weight continues to come off, I will look and feel better.

Ok, I have weighed in at Weight Watchers twice since the last post. On 2/14/11 I lost 5.8 pounds, which was great. This past Monday, 2/21/11, I stayed the same. I have to admit, I don't think I was quite on my game last week and it showed. At least I didn't gain. So I am trying to keep my eyes on the prize (that's my motivating statement) and not be discouraged. I am also working on embracing new parts of my personality, which is why my other motivating statement is "no pain, no gain".

Thanks for all the tips and support! It really makes a difference. Until next time, keep pushing and keep your eyes on the prize. (Ok, that was really cheesy, but you get what I mean.) :-)

More research!?!

I'm beginning to think that it is time to look into getting that PhD. In my last post, I did some research on how sugar interacts in the body, playing on my thesis that sugar is my drug of choice (which is still true with alcohol being a close second). This month, I've been doing research on diet plans in order to find one that will work for me. With all the research I've been doing lately, I should just go back to school and put the work towards something useful, like becoming Dr. Gallagher.

Why the research on diet plans (or I should say weight loss plans because we all know diet is an evil word), because I really want to lose weight and I need to do it in a way that is going to stick. A couple of years ago I bought the book "The Beck Diet Solution" written by Dr. Judith Beck, daughter of Dr. Aaron Beck. For those of you who don't know, Dr. Aaron Beck is the father of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a way of changing the way a person thinks in order to help them modify bad behaviors (that is the simple definition). Being a psychology geek, I thought this book would help me change my thought patterns about food and my emotional eating. Well, I think the book would help if I read more than the first chapter. So I recently pulled the book out from under my bed, dusted it off, and began reading again. I developed my advantages to losing weight, wrote them down, and posted them on my bathroom mirror. Next I began looking into weight loss programs. Dr. Beck recommends you choose 2 programs, one will be your main program and the other is a back up. Well, after looking into several different plans, I have decided to try Weight Watchers. What I like about Weight Watchers is that I can eat regular food as long as I stay within my points. This way, I can continue to cook for myself and learn how to eat healthy. I will also learn how to listen to my body to make sure that I am eating because I'm hungry, not bored or upset or whatever. I'm excited about the program and I hope this excitement continues. My biggest challenge, negative thoughts and laziness. These two things have derailed me with every weight loss program I have tried. So I am going to pair Weight Watches with "The Beck Diet Solution" and see what happens.

I believe I will be successful because, as I've recently discovered, I'm a competitive person. What I mean by this is that a few of my friends are losing weight and I've realized that I do not want to be left behind. Also, I don't want to be shown up by other people. So, when I'm feeling lazy or defeated, I will think about these friends, how good they look and how healthy they are, and this will motivate me to do the same.

So, this is week one. I'm at 270.6 lbs. and I want to lose 110 lbs. in order to get to 160. My first weight loss goal is 14 lbs. and I plan to reach that goal by March 14th. Of course I will keep all of you posted.

Thanks for reading. Good thoughts are appreciated. My next research project, finding the right school for my doctorate degree! Stay tuned...